H.O.P.E./Chapter Four - Punchlines
Punchlines is the fourth installment of Season One of H.O.P.E. and the fourth one overall. The Scooby Doo gang gets hired anonymously to figure out a new mystery, but the Apocalypse slows shit down. Harley and Tom explore Riverdale. Cruella takes Mandy and Claire to the airport, where real shit goes down. Mona and Tara wake up in Mary and Alex's cells and try to get out of there. Cast TBA. Episode Intro JOKER'S LAIR -- BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE -- DAWN At the Joker's Lair, Harley comes up to The Joker with her sexiest lingerie, who's searching for Mystery Inc.. HARLEY: Hey Mistah Jay... JOKER: Harley, go back to sleep HARLEY: Come on Puddin', don't cha wanna play with Harley? Trust me, I'm the Ultimate Edition JOKER: I'M BUSY YOU FUCKING CRAY CRAY HARLEY: Whatcha searching? Mystery Incorporated? Arent those the bitches with the talking dog JOKER: Yes... now go to your bedroom Harley backs off. HARLEY: Fine. Harley goes back to her room, looking at the screen from Joker's laptop. What did he want with Mystery Incorporated? PART ONE MARY AND ALEX'S FORMER CELLS -- 4 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE -- MORNING Mona wakes up in a chair, with a fabulous dress on. In front of her Tara Dikov's sleeping, and that's when Mona realizes. MONA: ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME Tara wakes up. TARA: OH DONT TEST ME BRIT I KNOW KUNG FU.... wait where are my unloyal fans MONA: WHAT HAVE U DONE U STUPID BITCH TARA: Woah calm down, I just let your friends out so they could get an autograph with me. They smelled too have u only gave them those dresses to wear, bitches didnt even look cute in them MONA: '''YOU FUCKING AIRHEAD, THOSE WERENT MY FRIENDS, THEY WERE MY MORTAL ENEMIES. I KEPT THEM FOREVER BECAUSE IM PLL KWEEN YOU STUPID FUCKER '''TARA: Slow your roll Moan MOAN: DONT CALL ME THA-- oh ffs srsly TARA: lets just get out of here MOAN: HOW? Tara notices the window. She gets up on the table and with her Shupermodel powers she jumps towards the window. The window is unbreakable though and she falls to the ground. MOAN: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH STUPID BITCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAH TARA: Ouch POP'S CHOCK'LIT SHOPPE -- 3 DAYS IN THE APOCALYPSE -- MORNING Tired AF, Harley and Tom finally arrive to Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe, but what they didn't see coming... HARLEY: ARE U FUCKING SERIOUS RN ...IS A BUNCH OF DESPAIR HOES REGGIE: WOW WASSUP MAMACITA, I GOT A BASEBALL BAT, WANNA TRY IT ARCHIE: Shush Reggie, I'm the fuckboy here CHERYL: Nothing to live for. My whole life is broken. A pointless mess. That's why I'm turning emo. PENELOPE: FFS. CHERYL: IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM Cheryl kicks Penelope to Space, until she can't breathe and dies. Reggie, Archie and Cheryl all laugh. Suddenly they notice Harley and Tom and run towards them. Harley whips out her baseball bat and hits Reggie's pea brain that he literally vomits it. Cheryl chases Tom around the diner until Tom distracts her by showing a pic of her brother. Cheryl pulls out a gun and kills herself. The only one left is Archie, but he has a special kind of ability. ARCHIE: Sorry Betty, I'm just... I'm not good enough for you. His Fuckboy ability lunges Harley into the other side of the restaurant, awaking Pop Tate, who is also filled with despair. This doesn't affect Tom however, who keeps walking towards Archie. ARCHIE: FUCK WHAT DO I DO NOW... Uhmmmm Archie shows Tom his abs, which makes him fall down and lose blood. But before Archie can tease-kill Tom, a blonde bitch who was hiding in the bathroom pulls out her heals and stabs Archie with it. Before Pop Tates can murder Harley, the blonde bitch grabs Pop Tates by the shoulders. ???: Your face is what the business calls a "channel changer". Pop Tates falls down to his knees. POP: Oh my god... What happened here? ???: Pop Tates, listen to me, your stupid face and everyone else in the world except for amazing people like me were affected by some japanese hoe who thinks she's all that and a bag of chips. Everyone's crazy out there so me and my friends are gonna get you somewhere safe ok? TOM: Chanel? Chanel turns around and gives an uncomfortable judgy look at Tom and Harley. CHANEL: Kinda busy right now. HARLEY: Wait, hold on. Did you just cure Pop Tates from despair? CHANEL: Um, yep TOM: HOW? CHANEL: Didn't you fucking see that or are you fucking blind? I bitched at them CHANEL: Ok, I'm gonna get Pops somewhere where it's safe and you guys can come with me if you want, I mean, if you wanna learn how to survive this fucking tragedy TOM: Sure CHANEL: OK hoes, time for u bitches to follow me PART TWO US AIRPORT -- 3 DAYS IN THE DAWN (3 AM) Mandy, Claire, Crim and Cruella finally arrived to the airport. MANDY: Thanks for your help Cruella CRUELLA: You are wel--c------- Cruella falls to the ground. MANDY: FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A FUCKING BREAK CLAIRE: well it is the apocalypse CRIM: Claire. Zip it. Someone steps out of the shadows. EVERYONE: JENNIFER? It's Jennifer. JENNIFER: Actually... Oh wait, not Jennifer. She takes off her Jennifer mask, the person behind the mask is... BEYONCÉ?! BEYONCÉ: Nah dude they usually tell me I look like Shallisa WHO DA FUCK IS DAT SHALISSA: Me nigga MANDY: HOLY SHIT CRIM: I am a huge fan SHALISSA: Shalissa Shalissa whips out her katana and cuts off Mandy's arm. MANDY: 'HA! You dumb fuck, I can regenerate ''Mandy grabs Shalissa by the titty. '''CRIM: No dont punch her, shes an icon Mandy punches Shalissa in the titty, causing her to fall. CRIM: why mandy Shalissa quickly gets up and picks up her katana. MANDY: because she fucking almost killed us lmao As soon as Mandy says "lmao", Shalissa snaps out of it and falls down to her knees. SHALISSA: Oh my god... What happened here? CLAIRE: wat EPILOGUE Mary and Alex are looking around in Paris when suddenly, The Red Devil pops out and stabs Mary. MARY: WHAT THE SHIT MARY: ALEX, MY LIL ANGEL HELP ME Alex runs away from there, and gets a cab. ALEX: Drive me to far away from here The taxi man turns around, revealing to be the Green Meanie.Category:H.O.P.E. Episodes Category:H.O.P.E. Season One Episodes